


If You’ve Only Got a Mustache

by JustSomeoneUnordinary



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Double Drabble, Gen, Humor, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:48:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29478714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustSomeoneUnordinary/pseuds/JustSomeoneUnordinary
Summary: “You’re too recognizable with that goatee,”they said.“We need to change that,”they said.These are the words that led Tony to the worst atrocity he has ever endured. And no, he’s definitely not being dramatic—he’s dead serious.
Relationships: Tony Stark & Avengers Team
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	If You’ve Only Got a Mustache

**Author's Note:**

> This cracky-ish (I’d say more neutral funny than cracky) double drabble is nothing but my answer to [sibmakesart](https://sibmakesart.tumblr.com/) on tumblr (check their art out and leave them all the love they deserve!) on our little war about Tony and mustache. (In this house we disrespect all kinds of mustache. If you disagree, then I am sorry, but you are wrong :)) 
> 
> You can read my own version in German [here](https://www.fanfiktion.de/s/602c2642000103bc2693a59d/1/If-You-ve-Only-Got-a-Mustache).

“I hate you.”

“It’s a _stealth_ mission, Tony.” Natasha’s expression betrays nothing, but there’s a glint of amusement in her eyes Tony knows only too well.

“And it’s not _that_ bad,” Steve chimes in. Tony might take him more serious, if the corner of his mouth weren’t twitching suspiciously. When even Captain America can barely suppress a laugh, you know it’s worse than bad.

“I look like a smarmy cop from a 90s movie,” he counters while looking at the mirror. There, where his wonderful, perfectly trimmed goatee should be is nothing left anymore but a _mustache_.

 _“You’re too recognizable with that goatee,”_ they said. _“We need to change that,”_ they said _._

And instead of just shaving the whole thing off, which in itself counts as a crime already, they gave him a fucking mustache of all things. A _mustache_.

He hears Clint falling on the floor from laughter and thinks that a little bit of stabbing would be only a fair reaction. JARVIS would help him hide the evidence.

“You are all dead to me,” he growls and takes off to shave that atrocious… _thing_ off his face.

Now even Steve gives into the laughter.

Friends his fucking _ass._

**Author's Note:**

> You can reblog this on tumblr [here](https://justsomeoneunordinary.tumblr.com/post/640866131474825216/oh-hey-i-just-remembered-that-im-a-content).


End file.
